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IWTB008 Dead Swans - Before And Through

by I Want To Believe Tapes

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  • Dead Swans "Before And Through" Tape
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    These are the last copies of this tape press. They'll come with a "It's starting to pull me under sticker".

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1.
I don't believe your innocence You're hiding lies behind distant lips No emotion just unimpatient words Which brings you romance you don't deserve Shallow breathing and heavy eyes Another day, a new disguise Looking ahead through tomorrows rains I've seen your face you'll never change Every question makes no fucking sense Every answer reminds me why I fucking quit Don't act like you don't understand Your act is done
2.
Looking through the window I can see the street lights fading Here comes the sun And another fucked up day I sat down by the west pier with her cries in my head I still blame myself for never making any fucking sense Love doesn't come and go Love comes and leaves you all alone Trashed dreams and broken home Connection fails I'm still alone Tonight I speak her crushing words Don't repeat she already knows Silence falls her blackened heart The valium kicks in were falling apart Falling apart She hangs a slip noose on my bedroom door With blistered lips smiling at the floor I've lost the feeling in my fucking toes Love has killed me but she already fucking knows She already fucking knows
3.
Expressions drop through deadly silence. I'm bruised and broken from a lonely start and now you say you care so much but I know you can't see past yourself. I remember when we seemed so close but now you've changed and I know how this story ends. I never wanted your opinion. I never wanted you fucking help. Tender words with hidden meanings, awkward silence, hardly breathing. These days are getting longer and I'm running out of time. Sometimes I question myself: is this everything? All alone at night inside my head, wasting away. Is this all there is? I've had too much time to think, written songs that I'll never sing, watched a town turn love to hate. Split my fucking guts just to be away I've had too much time to think, written songs that I'll never sing, watched a town turn love to hate. this is everything, everything
4.
Sleepwalking dead, trapped inside a heartbeat, searching outside of town. Their desperate lonely voices still have nothing to say, were still miles from nowhere with no direction to take. And it's getting harder to see down these broken streets. These are feelings I've never shown, these are the screams you've never heard. This is a song for you and me, another anthem to numb the pain. Sleepwalking dead.
5.
Endless disappointment. Expectations I'll never meet. A crushing view of doubt is keeping me from you. I take the last train home after every mindless fight, confessing my secrets. Dear friends, there's only one though in my mind: how long will it be until I see you again? Did I say to much or was it not enough? A calendar of guilt, another day crossed off inside my head. I've done it again. Another day spent locked inside. How many times will I fall beneath your voice? The look of your face said everything. Endless disappointment. Expectations I'll never meet. A crushing view of doubt is keeping me from you. How long will it be until I see you again? Did I say to much or was it not enough? A calendar of guilt, another day crossed off inside my head.
6.
7.
I try to focus on the lines at the side of the road, Through blacked out windows I see myself slowly fading away, When I lock eyes with you, You only see half of me, You only see what you have fucking heard, I keep on trying to burn those fucking pages But their words have cut so fucking deep I can only blame myself, I keep on trying to forget every yesterday It's killing me to stay here These worthless nights all lead to nowhere, I keep on trying to burn those fucking pages But there words have cut so fucking deep I can only blame myself It's killing me to stay here These worthless nights all lead to nowhere, It's killing me to stay here These worthless nights all lead to nowhere, The glass cracks as I watch the hours falling away from me, These were the things that I kept to myself These are the things that I kept to myself.
8.
I didn't get to say goodbye, I thought that you would never leave. But now you're gone, I've still got so much left to say. All those years we didn't speak, All those words I should have said. But now you're gone, And there's nothing I can do. It doesn't matter how hard I scream, These songs won't bring you back... Bring you back... bring you back... Bring you back..
9.
Fuck! Glass eyes... staring at uncaring hands, Your sitting alone in the dark again. With empty bottles by your side and blood stained sheets, Your still trying to hide. Living alone in your personal hell, Reciting lies until they're safe to tell. Your precious act made me think I care, Fuck those nights I'm never coming back! Some slumped in chairs and hardly ever speaking Others mouthing to ears that were never fucking listening We stayed up all night twisting old memories All pieced together and incomplete The hanging sun! It watches me as I fall... As we fall... Fall... As we fall.
10.
Wandering through these same old streets, with those bitter songs on repeat, thinking back it through all these years what did it mean? It was everything, it's just so much more than fists and phrases, it's a burning fight through life's changes, thinking back through these years, I wouldn't change a thing, it's burning inside, in these moments when we lose all hope, and those times when you think there's nothing left, there's so much more to this than you'll ever know, it picks us up from the moment we're thrown, so here's to the fight that kept this alive, here's to misled youth, here's to the rest of our lives.

about

"Before And Through" is a collection of demos and live sessions with the historical Dead Swans line up:

Nick - vocals
Pid - guitars
Robbie - guitars
Ben - bass
Benny - drums

credits

released May 11, 2016

Tracks 1-2 recorded at Cro's Nest in 2006.
Tracks 3-5 recorded at Benny's house in summer 2008.
Tracks 6-9 taken from the BBC Maida Vale Sessions, July 29th, 2008.
Track 10 taken from the BBC Maida Vale Sessions, April 25th, 2012. Joey Bayes plays guitars on here.

Artwork by Linas Garsys

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